What Do You Deserve?
Often our feelings of unworthiness hold us back, making us feel adequate or not up to the challenge. But if you believed you deserved success, what could you do?
A question I often ask my clients who are contemplating options or considering their next move is “what do you deserve?” A challenging question which often produces a furrowed brow!
The issue of deservedness or worthiness is complex and I’m sure we can all think of time when we thought we didn’t deserve our success or we’ve been overly modest about our accomplishments – right place right time or I was lucky! When you doubt your worth you question whether you are good enough, start to believe that mistakes are linked to your self-worth and even question whether you are a good enough person to deserve good things.
The fact is that you'll create the result you BELIEVE you DESERVE. Yes, that's right it's based on your beliefs. Beliefs are the foundations of who you are and they are shaped by many things including childhood, environment, schooling, parents, community etc. They are complex, unique and deeply personal defining your values and ultimately shaping your personality and the things you hold to be important.
Beliefs are things which you hold to be true and are so ingrained that we act on these beliefs even without realising it.
So how do you start to address your beliefs about your personal worth?
Here are a few tips:
1. Respect yourself - prioritise your needs. You matter and therefore, you need to look after yourself. What “self-care” means looks different for everyone.
2. Help others - be someone that shows up. Selfishly it increases your feelings of worth and deservingness. People who give care tend to live longer. Honestly they do.
3. Be you - so much out there about being your "best self" and some of it feels pretty trite - but there's something about being yourself and standing up for what you believe in. You are unique and important so treat yourself that way.
4. Stand up for yourself - when you don't believe in your deservedness then you put yourself in the world as a pleaser, performer, doormat - what are you trying to prove?
Does any of this ring true for you? If you need a helping hand rewriting your story, then I can help. Do drop me a line and I’d love to hear from you.